The marae is a place to hui, to wānanga and to come together. It has also been a place to criticise, chastise and protest. Analysing the very best of Waitangi Day protests, we take a look back at the best, (by which we mean worst), acts of rebellion against the government and its officials.
S Tier
Steven Joyce
While Steven Joyce was speaking to reporters at Te Tii Marae, a disgruntled nurse threw a dildo at him. The dildo ricochet off his face, and the moment was captured on film. The dildo was protesting New Zealand’s signing of the TPP and the perpetrator shouted, “that’s for raping our sovereignty.”
Comments: He’s been dubbed “Dildo Baggins.” That alone warrants him an S.
A Tier
Don Brash
It’s 2004, February 6th, Waitangi Day. Don Brash is making his way to the lower marae of the Waitangi treaty grounds to start talking to the media. As he’s pushing his political agenda to the cameras something flashes in the left of his vision. A wet ball of mud hits him square in the face. The attack was in protest of his “nationhood” speech in Orewa that insisted that policies such as required levels of iwi representation on district health boards and the allocation of Māori electorate seats in Parliament was “separatist.” In front of the cameras and his peers Don wiped himself off and yelled out, “Good shot!”
Comments: He was a cheeky one for turning up to the treaty grounds after having said all that. The mud was well deserved in my opinion, but if I could suggest something for next time, maybe try horse manure.
Don Brash did throw out the case against the perpetrator Kevin Raymond Duncan. So on account of being a “G” and a good sport, I give him an A rating.
B Tier
Helen Clark
On Waitangi day in 1998, Helen Clark made her way to Te Tii Marae in Waitangi to take part in formal celebrations. Sitting on the front benches, she was perched next to distinguished male leaders on the paepae. She was pushed by these same men to make a speech, but activist and local nanny, Titewhai Harawira barred her from speaking. Nanny Titewhai told her to sit down and asked Helen how dare she, a Pākehā woman, speak before wāhine Māori. This made the Labour leader burst into tears.
Comments: Helen is getting the real Māori experience here. Who hasn’t been growled by a nanny on the Marae? This is the essence of growing up on the pā. But hey, I bet that nanny was nowhere near as scary as the armed cops she sent into the Urewera’s.
C Tier
Judith Collins
Earlier this year Judith Collins went to Waitangi to sit on the paepae alongside fellow politicians. At Te Whare Runanga marae in Waitangi it is kawa, or marae protocol for only men to do whaikōrero. Jacinda Ardern has been given special speaking rights on the marae because she is the Prime Minister of New Zealand, an honour she has not taken for granted. This did not sit well with Collins who was denied the opportunity to speak, she called this a sexist decision. She then accompanied her lovely sentiments with some te reo, “It’s actually all about all women, wāhine toa, who wish to be able to have their say.”
Comments: I would have loved the theatrics of a kuia telling her to sit down, but her annoyed grimace on the paepae was enough. Knowing nothing about marae kawa and then calling our tikanga “sexist” really shows how out of touch she is. In regards to her “wāhine toa” comment all I have to say is, please don’t try and use our own language against us. This bad attitude warrants a C.
Queen Elizabeth II
In 1990, Queen Lizzie was in the middle of a royal tour visit to New Zealand which coincided with the 150th anniversary of Waitangi Day. As she sat in a car, making her way through the crowds on the Waitangi grounds, a wet t-shirt was flung at her. It landed in her car and while it missed her face, it did give her a big fright. The perpetrator Henearoahuea Tepou, was swiftly arrested then sentenced to five months detention. Worth it I reckon.
Comments: This is ballsy and crack up. If she had socked her in the face or even thrown a rock, I would have given a better score.
