Who Asked You?
Welcome to Craccum, where we put the “agony” in “agony aunt.” We’re not qualified to deal with your problems, but neither are you.
So I’m in a class that is 95% female, but none of them seem interested in me. I’m pretty much been given this opportunity on a silver platter, but I have no idea what to do with it. What do I do?
Never fear, my friend. I know exactly what you should do. Here is the definitive list of all the things women like:
- Really loud bagpipe music played at 6am for several hours.
- Guys asking them if they’ve lost weight (bonus points if you add “you’d be prettier if.”)
- People who play guitar (unprompted) in group settings and talk about the meaning behind their original lyrics.
- Manspreading.
- Having leeches placed directly onto their eyeballs whilst being read Fifty Shades of Grey backwards by Gilbert Gottfried.
- Guys who think women going to class is an “oppotunity” (your spelling, not mine) to get laid instead of human beings trying to get their fucking education.
How do I cure my feet kink?
Go to confession because only God can help you.
I’m really drunk rn but it’s a work event how the fuck do I sober up cuz oh my goooood I need a grad role
