Who Asked You?

Welcome to Craccum, where we put the “agony” in “agony aunt.” We’re not qualified to deal with your problems, but neither are you.

So I’m in a class that is 95% female, but none of them seem interested in me. I’m pretty much been given this opportunity on a silver platter, but I have no idea what to do with it. What do I do?

Never fear, my friend. I know exactly what you should do. Here is the definitive list of all the things women like:

Really loud bagpipe music played at 6am for several hours.
Guys asking them if they’ve lost weight (bonus points if you add “you’d be prettier if.”)
People who play guitar (unprompted) in group settings and talk about the meaning behind their original lyrics.
Manspreading.
Having leeches placed directly onto their eyeballs whilst being read Fifty Shades of Grey backwards by Gilbert Gottfried.
Guys who think women going to class is an “oppotunity” (your spelling, not mine) to get laid instead of human beings trying to get their fucking education.