Speed dating and speed networking aren’t really all that different. From eye contact across the room, to the importance of first impressions—networking is one of the most important parts of getting ahead in your career.
I checked my reflection in the mirror. This outfit comes off too strong, I thought to myself. A pencil skirt? What was I thinking? My palms begin to sweat. What if he thinks I’m desperate? Okay, I’ve made eye contact. They smile. That’s a good sign, right? Wow, we’re having a lovely conversation. But is it too soon to ask?? Fuck it, I’m saying it.
“I know this may be too soon, but can I have your LinkedIn?”
They said yes!
We’ve all been there, and if you’re someone who wants to get ahead with your career, you will be there at some point. So, here are the ins and outs of making valuable professional connections, from swiping right to success to the subtle art of first impressions.
The hoe phase
Let’s be real. Playing the field is fun. The slight ego boost, the constant eye contact, smiling at everyone you see—we’ve all been there. When you’re first starting to network, you’ll probably be swiping right on everyone you see. The only issue? They’ll probably forget your name as quickly as you forget theirs. You aren’t building connections through futile conversations; you’re just building your roster. It’s fun to show off, but at the end of the day (apologies to my ex-roster), it’s just a number. Instead of finding the CEO, who probably thinks you’re trying too hard, find the intern, meet them for a cup of coffee, and figure out how they got their role in the first place.
Role-playing isn’t just for the bedroom
You’ve got to keep it exciting. What makes you any different from the person standing next to you? Experience matters (in more ways than one), but what matters most is confidence. If you’re going to let imposter syndrome take over and convince yourself that you aren’t good enough, then you probably aren’t. If you’re too scared to make the first move, someone else will. Pick a character and stick to it. Sell yourself hard, and make sure you believe what you’re saying. First impressions matter; performance anxiety will not get you that second date.
Ass licking should be banned inside the bedroom and out
Self-explanatory, I hope (if it isn’t, stay away from me). Whoever you’re trying to impress probably has a thousand other people trying to do the same. If you’re going to agree with everything they say, you’re boring. Have an opinion of your own; if someone disagrees, it’s not the end of the world. No one likes a yes-man, and employers definitely don’t. I remember an employer telling me that he once made up a story just to see who would pretend to act like it actually happened. Yep, traumatising. Don’t kiss ass. It’s gross.
Stalking is cool
Remember that guy who miraculously had the exact same music taste as you? Or the time that they just happened to love reading the exact genre of rom-com that you did? Yep, you’ve been stalked. But you know what? That’s okay—flattering even (usually)! In the professional world, if you don’t find out every minor detail of the person you’re trying to impress, you’re kind of an idiot. When they bring up an article they wrote 5 years ago, you should be armed with compliments and even a bit of constructive criticism. If you can spend days finding your ex-boyfriend’s new girl’s dog’s name, you can spend a couple of hours researching the person who can hand you your dream job.
Ghosting and posting
Do you know how it’s a reflex to start posting more when you get rejected? While that’s a little desperate in the dating world, it’s actually smart when it comes to networking. If you’re being ghosted by the person to whom you sent your CV, don’t waste time crying about it. Hop onto LinkedIn and post about the workshop you attended. Go through that roster I know you’ve collected and start pushing out your resume. When it comes to your career (and relationships), you don’t have time to sit and cry about opportunities lost because new ones will pass you by.
There will be times when you’ll swipe right on the wrong job. You might even get dumped by a company, and maybe you won’t always be someone’s first choice. But just like dating, the world of networking is endless. Whether it’s speed dating or speed networking, there’s plenty of fish (and opportunities) in the sea.
Speed dating and speed networking aren’t really all that different. From eye contact across the room, to the importance of first impressions—networking is one of the most important parts of getting ahead in your career.
