The Truth about the New Hall of Residence
Blessed at dawn on January 23, and officially opened on February 8, Carlaw Park Stanley is the latest development in the realisation of the University’s plan for student accommodation. Housing over 900 students, beyond their first year, in three to six-bedroom apartments, it more than doubles the capacity of the Carlaw Park Student Village to just over 1600.
It boasts being the ideal haunch for any sunlight-sensitives among the population, as its double-layered design creates an interior courtyard, with the flats at the very lowest points receiving sun only when it is at its peak. Contained in that courtyard is a volleyball court that is often used for any sport but volleyball, table tennis tables that echo into every room if the window is open, and some picnic tables, which again, may never see the sun in some seasons.
On the inside, it possesses the most serious security of any hall, with no less than 3 glass doors between any would-be intruder and the main reception, staffed by a not-quite 24-hour team of receptionists, whose main purpose in life is to let people in when they lock themselves out of their room. Because make no mistake, every door you can use can be opened from your single ID card, of which you are only allowed one, so if you forget it behind one door, you have to pay a mandatory donation of 25 dollars to the University. There is a case to be made that this is unethical, as was brought to attention by a resident, and it is UoA, so this will be investigated further.
For all your entertainment needs, on the inside, there are no less than two separate pool tables. Carefully situated next to the vending machines in what would suggest to any keen eye a kind of product placement, they are on the mandatory six-degree incline of any accommodation pool table. Situated just down the hallway is a music room, possessing an electric drum set and electric piano, neither of which was able to get worked for a joke, which provides its own kind of irony.
Each of the nine floors contains about 24 flats, and they are colour-coded up the building, to create a wonderful social structure based on colour, which the University loves to inflict on all its residences. There are lifts in opposite corners and convenient emergency staircases, accessible at all times, for those in this world who buy into the functional exercise trend. And the soundproofing in each flat is so phenomenal that conversations can be heard audibly as one walks past. It is certainly an aromatic experience walking down the corridor at 6:30pm as dinners are being cooked.
Individual flats are generously furnished with bedrooms having the standard: desk, bed, wardrobe, heater, and towel rail. While common spaces have two couches, two awkwardly small and yet different tables, a television, AC for which the management had to send the manual, and a large window, where the real entertainment is watched. By UoA standards, the kitchen is generous, with excess storage, a large fridge, microwave and oven, as well as a few provided kitchen items. One random student interviewed wanted to praise the “fancy toaster” which is provided.
Located under 10 minutes from the general library, you are paying a premium of 330 dollars a week for that ease as well as all provided amenities (Water, Power, and Internet included).
