Downbad in a time of economic downturn? Craccum suggests a few budget-friendly winter date ideas:
Cockblocked by the cost of living? All budget, no bitches? We got your back! When it comes to love, all you need to do this winter is take a page out of NZ’s GDP—just fall!
Arrange a claydate ($4 – $15)
You will need:
-500g Air Dry Clay $4 (Mitre10 / Kmart)
-Wine (Whilst this is optional, might I recommend the most $9 dollar-esque bottle they have in store? With notes of grape, paint-thinner and despair, this variety pairs particularly well with broke uni students!)
-A bowl of water
-A flat surface
-0 skill (art is subjective)
Look up some beginner projects on Pinterest for reference, lube up your clay and get moulding!! If you’re looking for a portable, flat surface so you can create in the privacy of your room; chopping boards are ideal—any mess should wash right off! This is a very wholesome activity because your partner can choose something they like and you can (attempt to) make it for them. If your project doesn’t turn out quite as hoped—blame the wine! Either way you’ll get the twisted pleasure of watching them keep your offering in their room like those ‘unique’ drawings parents feel obliged to keep on the fridge.
Round 2? ($10 – 15)
After your clay has been left to dry for 24 hours, you are ready for date night #2—painting those bad boys! (Suss some paint palettes from The Warehouse—you’re not Van Gogh)
Roleplay (can’t put a price on it)
You will need:
-To have watched like 3 episodes of Suits
-A safe word
Been having disagreements with your significant other? Arguing about where you want to go for dinner or who they want to vote for this October? What better way to solve it than through rigorous, structured debate! Prepare opening statements, print cue cards, make a night of it! Hell! Make a powerpoint presentation detailing the fact that no, babe—Andrew Tate isn’t just being ‘demonised by the media’ or ‘taken out of context’!! You will either:
- Break up (it was probably for the best)
- Come out on top (who doesn’t love a little verbal foreplay?)
Engage in a little light ‘pounding’ ($10 – $20)
You will need:
-2 plain white Tee’s $4.50 – $10 each (Kmart)
-Masking tape (optional) $4.50 (Kmart/ The Warehouse)
-To stop and smell the roses
-A hammer
Pick each other flowers! Position leaves/ greenery/ daisies to your partner’s liking over a shirt, cover it with masking tape, then pound thoroughly (tape is optional, but it’s always better to wrap and tap). Once the tape is lifted from the fabric, the colour and outline of the flowers will remain. If you’re not one to wear your heart on your sleeve, switch out the shirts for a canvas—it’s a great way to preserve the flowers your loved ones give you! A friendly reminder that you will need to pound harder than you think (so take it to the streets—do NOT do it on the kitchen table)!
Mood music
While you’re pounding away, why not collaborate on a Spotify playlist? Add songs that remind you of the other person and tell them what meaning it holds as you cycle through the list.
Netflix & No-chill
Comedy month may be over, but Netflix stand-up specials remain—and prove to be an excellent litmus test for moral character! If you’re in the early days of a relationship, go ahead and put on the latest Ricky Gervais. If they laugh at his 15 minute opening tirade against trans people; congratulations! Dinner for one is a lot cheaper than dinner for two (never buy dinner for clowns, call that penny-wise).
Dinner AND a show ($10-$25)
If they pass the Gervais-test, why not take that shit public? After dinner, nip down to Academy Cinemas on Wednesday nights for $5 movie nights; they play lots of old arthouse/indie films—and Barbie too!) Sneak in the m&m’s but buy them that overpriced popcorn combo to show you care!
Explore her Wintergarden
With stunning new plant and flower displays every year, the Wintergardens never disappoint. Don’t take any for your flower pounding though—they got cameras! To add to your special movie moment; make sure you listen to ‘Me at the Museum, You in the Wintergardens’ by Tiny Ruins!
Commit crimes together
The paint swatch sample cards at Mitre 10 are free. They do not specify how many you can take. Am I saying you should take one of every single colour and make a rainbow wall in your room? [for plausible deniability reasons] No! I’m just saying…it would make a hell of a photo op for those insta pics…
21 Questions
The perfect cover for plain nosiness. Small talk is for losers! Ask them for the worst thing they’ve ever done! If your love language is words of affirmation—rig the questions so they’re forced to compliment you. Go fishing with the classic ‘what are my three best traits?’Babe, would you still love me if I was a worm?
Take things to the next level ($15)
Give each other tattoos. HENNA tattoos (the tubes are like 15 bucks from The Kitchenwarehouse)
Make dumplings together ($36)
You will need:
-50 pc Dumpling wrappers ($5)
-500 g Pork Mince/ or some vegan shit idk ($15)
-Chives ($5)
-Soy sauce ($3.50)
-Oyster sauce ($4)
-Chicken / Veg stock ($3.50)
-Turmeric (optional)
Combine mince, chopped chives and oyster sauce. Add 2 large tablespoons of stock to bind the dumpling mixture and then distribute them into the wrappers. Then, google yourself some better instructions. Making dumplings together is lovely because there’s no running around the kitchen or checking the heat on any pans. You can sit together at the table and laugh at the wonky ones you make on your first go—plus there’s nothing like the satisfaction of nailing the crimp on a wrapper! It’ll likely last you 2 – 3 meals and it’ll taste better than Sumthin Dumplin because it was made with love or whatever (gross).
