B stands for bigheads, bullies, and basic bitches. Mix that all up and you get UoA’s business students. You’ve got your finance bros, wannabe influencers, case comp connoisseurs, girlbosses, and people who didn’t know what to study in uni so they just picked the default option of business. Regardless of which business students you unfortunately encounter on Piazza or campus, they’re all just as cold and bland as their stomping ground—the OGGB building.
But do YOU have what it takes to be a business student? Take the quiz below to find out! (Spoiler alert: you probably do, there’s a reason why they’re so abundant)
What is inflation?
A) No idea! Why can’t we just print more money, I don’t get it…
B) Great for the economy! Idgaf about poor people!
C)A type of bouncy castle
What is Elon Musk best known for?
A) Being the ugly ex bf of Grimes
B) Uh, the mans is a GENIUS AND GOD’S GIFT TO THE WORLD! I KISS MY LIFE-SIZED PLUSHIE OF HIM GOODNIGHT EVERY DAY BEFORE BED! ELON, YOU ARE MY IDOL AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE <3333
C) A rare type of deer???
What is profit?
A) As daddy Karl Marx would say, PROFIT IS THE APPROPRIATED SURPLUS VALUE REMAINING AFTER THE CAPITALIST PAYS WAGES
B) My life’s purpose! It forms the heart of my morals and values :))
C) Profiteroles??? Yum! It’s a French dessert pastry ball with whipped cream inside!
How do you feel about tax?
A) TAX THE RICH!!!
B) It’s something I actively evade.
C) Taxidermy? Not gonna lie, it’s kinda weird that we stuff dead animal skin like we run a Build a Bear factory or something…
What does your wardrobe look like?
A) I try to buy clothing that reflects and accentuates my personality!
B) Patagonia vests. Navy blue suits from Hallensteins. Oh and shorts year round.
C) It’s around 70 cm deep and 2 meters long! It’s also complete with rainbow hangers from Kmart!
PHEW! What a SIGH OF RELIEF! You do not have what it takes to be a business student. Go ahead and count your lucky stars!
As part of your initiation into the Business school, we present you with your official sense of entitlement! Congrats!
Bestie, I’m worried. But hey! At least you’re exempt from studying something that no one (including the lecturers) enjoys!