Being me, I have to make sure to cover everything Nicolas Cage has done in any subsequent year. With films like Willy’s and Pig, the Cage man has had a swing of highs and lows this year. And this film isn’t out to change the status quo: it’s a shame that Prisoners of the Ghostland is a plummeting low. The potential this movie had is excruciating to think of, with all-star director Sion Sono running on auto-pilot here. The story, characters and especially the dialogue are kind of thrown about with no rhyme or reason, nor a level of charming craziness. Half the time it’s just noise and none of it comes together well to make any sort of sense. The action is unfortunately lacking in style and gore, making it so unfun, and it’s weird to see the same sets over and over. Cage is… trying his best here. Sadly, Sofia Boutella’s talents are completely wasted. The movie is a real cluster of ideas and creates a world that has nothing going for it. So much build up is given to empty spaces of dead air and missed opportunities. The random crazy shit that happens is arranged in a way that doesn’t flow or come together well. By the end of it you’re scratching your head as to why any of it mattered. Simply put, if a movie with major potential to be fantastic utterly fails, it’s simply worse than just bad.
“One out of ten, Cage screaming “testicle!” is the only saving grace.”