Welcome to Craccum, where we put the “agony” in “agony aunt.” We’re not qualified to deal with your problems, but neither are you.
Blocked 2 friends cuz they resembled my ex too much (told them the reason beforehand and apologised). Can’t forget the 2nd one, who was an absolute SNACC. Therapy aside, how can I work through this shit (projection and flashbacks) on my own so I don’t have to distance myself from future friends or love interests resembling my ex?
Okay, wow. I mean…wow. I just…uh…I have a friend who’s a psychology major, I can give you her number? Otherwise…er…try jogging?
My friend’s mum has been looking kinda thicc recently – I haven’t seen her in a week but I’m thinking bout her all the time. What should I do?
GOOD CHRIST. You lot are going to send me to an early grave. Go to church because God’s the only one who can help you. Literally just pick any god because something has to help you, and I sure as hell can’t.
How to cope when you’re in love with your best friend?
Hey there Craccum readers, we’re gonna have ourselves a little competition.
Below is a list of the ways that movie and TV characters have coped with being in love with their best friends. If you can name every character from this list, then I will personally come to your house and kick you in the face (once lockdown is over, of course, I’m not a criminal.) Submit your answers to whoaskedyoustupidcontest@gmail.com (real address) and be in to win.
- Play pranks on your self-important, beet farming co-worker and then transfer to Stamford and start dating Rashida Jones
- Learn about philosophical ethics from him and then reinvent the entire afterlife for the benefit of all humanity whilst learning to be a good person
- Go on a quest to find seven pieces of a snake-faced guy’s soul, somehow win her over even though she is vastly superior to you in every way, make out in the chamber of a giant snake (just basically a lot of snake stuff)
- Be in a six-strong band of improbably attractive pals and pair off with the sarcastic, least-horrible man in the cohort
- Be told by your obscenely positive boss that government employees are not allowed to date each other, but date him anyway because you are a strong woman who loves waffles and he is a huge nerd who loves Game of Thrones
- Have what she’s having.
