Each week, our resident sports columnist Omni Arona tries to justify wasting his life watching sport and tells you who’s been shit
Keeping up with the Kardashians NBA
This offseason has shown that sports is just drama for men. The Boston Celtics suspended Head Coach Ime Udonka, who was found to be having an intimate relationship with a female staff member. Ime Udonka led the Celtics to their 22nd NBA Finals appearance but lost out to Steph Curry’s Golden State Warriors. This situation has no doubt put pressure on his current engagement to actress Nia Long, meaning Udonka has now fumbled two rings in one year. NBA fans speculating over who the woman was meant that women not involved were shamed online. Celtics Executive Brad Stevens made a public comment regarding their female staff: “I thought yesterday was really hard on them, nobody can control Twitter speculation—rampant bullshit. We as an organisation have to support them now, because a lot of people were dragged unfairly.”
Kyrie Irving has begun posting Alex Jones videos, fml. Kyrie tweeted “my brothers and sisters who are also unvaccinated should be able to do the same (work) without being discriminated, vilified, or fired. This enforced Vaccine/Pandemic is one of the biggest violations of HUMAN RIGHTS in history”. Ohhh my fuckkkkking god read a book bro. Straight up clown. Kyrie is that contrarian kid in class that loves to play devil’s advocate.
Anthony Edwards decided that social media is the best place to be a dumbass and posted a blatantly homophobic video on his Instagram calling a group of gay men “queer ass n*****”. Edwards has apologised stating that “I was raised better than this”. Edwards will have to do some work to help mend his relationship with the LGBTQIA+ community before anyone considers his apology as truth.
Phoenix Suns and Mercury owner Robert Sarver has started the process to sell both franchises following backlash. Sarver was fined by the NBA for racist comments. Both the public, NBA staff, and players made public statements shaming the NBA for what they saw as a small punishment. Sarver blamed cancel culture as the reason for him selling the team.
We long for the day when basketball becomes the main topic of discussion instead of this drama laden spectacle
Football (real football)
England were relegated to the Nations League B, which is now putting pressure on England manager Gareth Southgate to perform or be at risk of being sacked. Currently, Southgates tactic is to play five at the back with two CDMs. A style that is extremely defensive and not that entertaining to watch given the talent pool he has to choose from. Trouble arises when Southgates initial tactics fail. There is no plan B. The plan is to not concede but there isn’t a plan if they do and that’s where Southgate needs to improve if he wants to stay in the job.
Sidemen FC vs Youtube Allstars was unironically the best match of the weekend. Made up of 22 players who I do not know. Sidemen FC took the win 8-7 with some cracking goals. Pieface and Carl were the perfect people to put in goal. The match earned over $1 million for charity, all through a bunch of boys having a shitty kick but endlessly entertaining kick about.
Arsenal remain top of the table (fml) while Man City sit in second and Tottenham (COYS) sit in third. Given how spurs tend to fuck the start of their season up every year, this is a welcomed change. It gives us the opportunity to attack the top four from WITHIN the top four, instead of fighting from seventh or eighth.
The Shit Award
Leicester looks in trouble at the moment and still hasn’t fired Head Coach Brendan Rogers, so they are a candidate. But I have to give this week’s Shit Award to both Kyrie Irving and Anthony Edwards for blatant homophobia and misinformation spreading .
