Students reflect on their experiences with Tumblr Porn, and how it helped them discover their emerging sexuality.
It’s 2015. You’re absentmindedly scrolling on Tumblr, and reblogging the pictures or gifs that fit well on your blog. You stumble across something R-rated and quickly scroll past. What was that? It’s lodged into your mind now, and you know that you want to check it out again.
This was my experience with Tumblr porn, and it’s reflected in the many other users of the site from our generation. Tumblr was a gateway to porn for many of us—and it’s left a gap since adult content was banned in 2018.
Initially, I was shocked at seeing pornogrpahic content on Tumblr. I hadn’t seen anything so explicit before, and it felt like something I wasn’t meant to see. But it interested me, and I was curious to see more.
Beth* had the same experience, coming across “random soft porn sprinkled through Tumblr,” and she found these were artistic and tasteful. Some were in black and white, which added to the erotic appeal of them. Similarly, Jennifer’s* first exploration of digital sexuality was through Tumblr. Her girlfriend at the time ran an arts account where she would post tasteful nudes. “In my mind I wasn’t thinking porn, just pretty pictures,” said Jennifer. But in terms of pornographic content she says, “I would be on my dashboard and see porn. I wouldn’t want to see it and it would be a bit of a shock if I did.”
In comparison, Heath* said he wanted to reblog the porn content rather than just see it to prove his sexual maturity. “Because I was still young,” said Health, “it felt like a mature thing to see and have on your blog.”
Tumblr was my first taste of porn; and it changed my views of porn as only being accessible to men and being ‘hard-core.’ Instead, Tumblr had a range of pictures and gifs from soft and sensual, to artistic ones that didn’t give much away. It wasn’t in your face and it was easy to scroll away from something you didn’t like as much.
Compared to Tumblr, other sites were intimidating to me and our other interviewees. Even for Heath, Pornhub was shocking as he was a young boy watching fully grown men and women.
When he found Tumblr, Heath said that he preferred it by a mile. “[The content] was more professionally done and the style was like a really well-done movie. It was the epitome of sexy and seemed passionate.” Heath said this made him feel more connected to the content. “It showed me that [sex] comes down to intimacy. Pornhub gives unrealistic expectations of sex and how to treat your partner.”
Jennifer also preferred Tumblr to Pornhub because of the morals. She noted “I felt gross because of the exploitation [on Pornhub], and it felt male gazey. Tumblr instead seemed like it empowered women to post images and gifs themselves. I could enjoy it more knowing they posted it.”
I felt the same as Jennifer and seeing the empowered content allowed me to enjoy my own body in the process. I liked that the content wasn’t glorifying certain body types or being male centric.
Beth agreed, noting “I liked things more sensuous. I didn’t want to see something that looked fake or intense. Tumblr was the first time I saw a penis!”
Personally, I preferred Tumblr porn as I also felt safer using it. It was already on a site I already used, and it seemed more ethical than Pornhub. While accessing porn sites felt a bit shameful, the fact that pornpgraphic content was just coming up on my feed made me feel better about seeing it.
Beth agrees; she’d never been on a porn website. “I would never even follow any porn blogs on Tumblr, but I used to search [them].” For Beth, Tumblr felt like a safe way to consume porn and she felt like she could control what she could see to an extent. “It was on a safe platform and not something I could get viruses or ads on.” Like me, Beth was paranoid about getting caught on a porn website so we both avoided them. I always had the fear of my parents seeing the internet browsers I accessed on their internet bill (even though I’m sure this can’t happen, right!?).
Although the pornographic content on Tumblr appealed to me, I struggled to understand masturbation. I saw it as something wrong and indecent. The first few times I masturbated I felt guilty and shameful afterwards.
Jennifer and Beth also felt ashamed about masturbating and porn. Beth states “masturbation made me kind of uncomfortable. I found the Tumblr content sexy but the thought of masturbating to it felt voyeuristic almost. I knew logically that there was nothing wrong about it but I felt so wrong doing it.”
“I felt so gross afterwards,” said Beth on early experiences with masturbation, “and [it was] something I tried not to do regularly as I felt icky about it.” This is a feeling I relate to, and it was a common theme amongst other female interviewees.
On the other hand, Heath was comfortable with masturbation and says it’s because it was openly talked about amongst his friends. “It was shameful when I was masturbating and thought no one else was, but once I got to school and other guys would brag about doing it and share videos, that shame subsided.”
Similarly, our female interviewees noted that the shame around masturbation only subsided once it became commonly spoken about. “It was only when I lived in a flat full of boys and another girl where we talked openly about porn and masturbation that I got more comfortable about using porn,” said Jennifer. “I take for granted how we can talk about it so candidly now,” she added, especially “when I used to feel a lot of shame back then.”
Although Beth also feels less shame now, she wishes female masturbation was explained in health class in high school. “I had no idea how to masturbate,” she said. “I thought from mainstream media, porn and books that girls masturbated by just fingering. I remember the first time I tried to finger myself and I thought: this is awful. Why does this not feel good? I wasn’t even turned on, and didn’t do anything else other than fingering.”
So, what now? Tumblr’s ban on explicit content leaves a gap for young people exploring their sexuality, and others that weren’t catered for with mainstream porn.
Heath believes “there needs to be more porn that is about connection rather than what [producers] think males enjoy. Women deserve to have pleasure.” He stated that he still uses Pornhub, but goes to the amateur category as it has real people enjoying themselves.
Jennifer now uses Pornhub but not that often, because of “the ethics of it aye.” She tried Wattpad fanfiction of an actor she found hot, and also considered getting an Only-Fans subscription as it is similar to Tumblr’s self-made content. She found the ethics of OF better, but ultimately there was a price-barrier. “[Tumblr was a good space] for when you are young and exploring your sexuality,” she said, “Though I think kids nowadays use Snapchat to follow pornstars and other porn creators.”
Conversely, Beth doesn’t watch porn at all anymore. “Tumblr was the one place I looked at porn and the only place I would. I think it’s because of the stigma around porn, it felt more acceptable on Tumblr.” At one point she watched anime soft porn. “I felt better about it because it was animated, these aren’t real people. It can feel voyeuristic watching people” she says, and that’s why she doesn’t enjoy mainstream porn. “I can’t sit through [porn videos] and I don’t find myself aroused by it. I am just watching two people fucking!”
Personally, I use Bellesa now—a comment that perked all the interviewees up when I mentioned they should try it. It’s a porn site I like to use, as it is women centred porn that covers all categories from sensual to rough to threesomes. It’s not as sensual as Tumblr porn, but it’s worth a shot!
The loss of Tumblr porn was felt by all our interviewees, and it was nostalgic for all of us to reflect. Heath sums it up eloquently. “Tumblr was a way to express ourselves and that included our sexuality with porn. I could express my sexuality when reblogging passionate scenes.”
Today there’s still a gap for something like Tumblr porn, especially for young people—and it’s worth considering the implications. Personally, without my experience with Tumblr porn, I would not feel the way I do now about porn and masturbation.
