Shadows Snack Review #2Shadows Snack Review #2Shadows Snack Review #2Shadows Snack Review #2
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Shadows Snack Review #2

May 21, 2019

Premeal comments:

Bailley: I would like to say first off that this is the fastest service I’ve ever gotten at Shadows

Shadows Waiter: Is that all?

David:

(because he hasn’t arrived yet)

David: nearly 15 minutes late

Bailley: I see why he missed his legislation debate now

David: This is my *minder* Caroline.

David: Oh wow, you’ve got a microphone now, you’ve upped the budget

Bailley: Yes we haven’t pissed anyone off lately so we managed to get some money

David: Oh, what’s happened with the campus prudes to criticize your content?

Lachlan: I don’t know, maybe you’re working with them now

David: *nervously laughs*

Shadows platter:

Chicken Tenders, Asian Bowl (Samosas and Spring Rolls) and Fish Bites

David: I don’t know if its chicken, but it’s not very freaking tender, I’ll tell you that.

David: Wow, yeah. This is an unexpected but not unwelcome development. Surprisingly good.

Bailley: It’s processed meat, crumbed and deep-fried, where can you go wrong?

David: Alright let’s move on (clearly eager for more free food)

Claudia: The fish bites are actually pretty good

Caroline: Really? I thought they were slightly soggy

Lachlan: Well, it’s been sitting there for 20 minutes

Claudia: You know when fish tastes too much like fish? It’s a bad sign. It was too fishy

David: I’m going to have to bail out before I even finish this

Elise: What do you rate them?

Lachlan: …. I can’t think of anything funny. I don’t know, 7/10

Bailley: I am failing to see what part of the plate counts as the “asian” part

Lachlan: The sweet and sour sauce obviously

David: Brian, you should try this Asian bowl.

Brian: The only asian at the table, trying to think of any other reason he might have been singled out specifically

Craccum team and Caroline: laughs nervously

David: How do you say these ones again?

Brian: Samosas?

Lachlan: Just to be clear, you need to know how to say ‘Samosa’?

Brian: I mean, I don’t think they’re a Chinese thing.

Caroline: The Samosas are not good

Brian: I wouldn’t be surprised if they packed mashed potatoes in this one.

Bailley: Oh we made you some handy signs to rate the food

David: Hmmm I’m going to give this a ‘Cheap and great value for tax free money’, but since we all have to pay tax, I don’t think anyone will be buying those. 

Claudia: I will try one of these spring rolls because I am curious

David: Don’t we live in a great country, where a bunch of students that are probably a bunch of lefties, let a politician eat with them tasting student bar food. Nowhere else in world you’d get that. I’m not confident you guys aren’t going to poison me, but if you do, I won’t be sure if it was Shadows or you guys anyways

Bailley: That may or may not have been discussed

Lachlan: But I bet you can’t wait to find out

Bailley: You’re lucky we decided to stay away from the pineapple toasties

Caroline: That wouldn’t have bothered him. He actually likes pineapple on pizza

Lachlan: There goes my vote

David: That’s what’s great about this country: you do you

Lachlan: Like deregulated chicken tenders

David: Well, that’s the only way to have them

Verdict:

David: Chicken tenders, cheap and great value for tax free money. You’ll be happy spending tax free money on this, I’ll tell ya. Screw you shadows!

Claudia: It was ok, nothing special

David: The samosas and the spring rolls tasted worse than Kelvin Davis’ slushies, if you know what I mean.

Fries:

Bailley: These need more salt

Claudia: I was thinking exactly that as they put them down

David: They are a neutral palette cleanser

Claudia: A bit too neutral. All you can taste is sauce

Bailley: There’s nothing more kiwi than chips and tomato sauce. It’s the taste of ‘Nu Zilund’

David: I have fish and chips every Friday at the seamarket. Everyone a has a whinge about it but It’s Kiwi

Lachlan: I’ll give you that, that’s a good idea

Bailley: You do do a lot of dancing so I guess its ok

Caroline: Ha! Not anymore

Verdict:

Claudia: BYO salt

Lachlan: If you are crying into your food after a test, then this is the snack for you

Onion Rings:

Brian: Oh boy! I have been looking forward to these

Lachlan: I am going to abstain from those

Brian: These onions rings are great. I love batter, this is awesome for that crunch

David:This onion ring would be better if it had some onion in it. It’s just a shitload of deep fry

Bailley: It is as crunchy as the chicken tender

David: Well, when you put them together, they’re basically the same stuff.

Elise: I’m just sad no one has rated the lettuce it comes on yet

Caroline: I had it by accident. It was fresh

Elise: Fresh accidental lettuce

David: I want my animals to eat something like that so we can eat them

Lachlan: Ah yes what do you think of the Greens, David?

David: As little as possible

Verdict:

Brian: This tastes almost as sweet as polling above 1%.

Bailley: Crispy on the outside soft on the inside, like Judith Collins

Wedges:

Elise: They were a personal highlight for me really

David: I have a tiny one with this marmite like barbeque sauce

Bailley: Wait, what about the classic sour cream?

David: Tastes worse than Kelvin Davis slushies. I’d almost rather go back to the greens.

Bailley: Don’t they have to want you first?

David: They like me, you’d be surprised

Lachlan: I certainly would be

Verdict:

Elise: Wedges are classic and they didn’t need any extra salt or anything. Perfect as is.

Brian: Solid, top tier snack from shadz. The serving of sweet chilli sauce with them also makes the dish more Asian than their Asian bowl

Nuggets:

David: Pretty impressed with the chicken. Definitely tastes better than fifth place than dancing with the stars. Did I say there were 12 contestants? 12.

Lachlan: The nuggets are surprisingly not bad

Bailley: Again, it’s deep fried

Lachlan: Yes, but that didn’t exactly work for the fish thing

Claudia: Yeah that was terrible

Brian: But these nuggets are nowhere near macca’s quality

Lachlan: Are we surprised though?

Bailley: You do also get fries which is nice though

Verdict:

Bailley: A nugget’s a nugget. If I had to choose I would say the tender is better purely for the crunch factor

Lachlan: I can’t think of a joke. Maybe 8/10? Never met a nugget that didn’t deliver.

Official Ranking:

  1. Wedges
  2. Fries
  3. Chicken Tenders
  4. Onion Rings
  5. Chicken Nuggets
  6. Asian Bowl
  7. Fish Bites

Overall: the snack menu is good but not amazing. However we will note that we weren’t drunk and if we were, everything would probably taste 5 times better. If you’re not buying food to share, just order three or four toasties and call it a night.

Craccum Editorial Team

Posts by Craccum Editorial Team

David Seymor

Posts by David Seymor
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