Come on, vamanos! Everybody let’s go!
This week, we’re leaving the bad vibes of the city campus behind to explore the mythical and uncharted landscapes of the Epsom and South Auckland campuses. After years of being overlooked and underappreciated, it’s time we acknowledged the existence of these campuses and their students…
In preparation for the treacherous journey ahead, we made sure to pack enough $8 iced oat lattes and Glassons claw clips in our Stolen Girlfriend tote bags. How else could city girls, who are accustomed to the overpriced, overcrowded, and toxic environment of the city central, survive in unknown territory?
Here are the findings from our expedition:
Epsom Campus
What’s the best and worst thing about your campus?
Hayley: “The best thing is that you actually know the person’s name who sits next to you. You’re more than likely gonna spend your whole degree with the same people, which is good or bad depending on how much you like your cohort. Especially when it comes to group projects, you already know ahead of time who is gonna let you down.”
Selena: “Free parking. It’s pretty easy to find your classes. Everyone knows each other so it’s super easy to make friends. The campus isn’t crowded because Education students are always on practicum.”
Hayley: “The worst thing is being surrounded by five local schools and spending more time in traffic than in my actual classes because the lecturers love 9am starts.”
Selena: “The campus itself is quite old… she lookin’ a bit crusty… Lecture rooms are cold as fuck in winter because they don’t have heat pumps. Classrooms are hot as fuck in summer because they haven’t got aircon, just shitty fans that move hot air around. The desks are so uneven that the fear of your laptop sliding off the little tables is enough to keep you awake during lectures. I can confirm that I have seen several laptops fly off desks.”
How would you describe your campus community?
Hayley: “The lecturers at Epsom campus genuinely want you to succeed and will use their own personal time to help you out. We had lecturers give out their phone numbers and students were allowed to text them—not only for help but to talk about their well-being too. Everyone seems friendly and presumably has somewhat of a will to live in comparison to city campus students.”
Selena: “You know no one is going to steal your shit if you leave it unattended because everyone is nice and looks out for one another. Lecturers and tutors are passionate about their jobs and generally quite helpful. They actually care about you.”
How does the city campus compare to Epsom?
Hayley: “City campus makes me feel like I’m a student studying abroad using grandad’s will money. You’ll see at least two people from your old high school. Everything is so boujee and I lowkey feel like people can work out I’m a stinky Epsom student. The campus is so huge that me and my friends will literally have a little lunch date hunting down where the fuck our classes are. Somehow we always get lost in the lower engineering building levels.”
Selena: “I frequently go to Gen Lib and OGGB to study because it feels like a real uni experience. Epsom feels like you’re in high school, moving between periods. Y’all have the Quad, Munchy Mart, Gong Cha—Epsom has one overpriced fucking cafe on campus. The food is average and I can’t believe they’re still in business.
Much like how social workers and teachers don’t get paid enough, UoA seems to neglect our campus. Maintenance is clearly a priority for the city campus. OGGB gets a bidet and Epsom gets a rubbish bin to collect rainwater coming from the roof so the floor doesn’t flood. Special shoutout to the Sylvia Ashton Warner library!
City campus always has cool events on and free shit being given away. But no hate to Epsom or ESSA because I know they try. Epsom gave away yogurt once, that was nice!”
Does your campus pass the vibe check?
Hayley: “Since Epsom campus is moving in 2024, a year after I graduate, it’s a no from me.”
Selena: “Yes and no? It’s a flex to say that we have our own campus with free parking, even if it’s not the prettiest to look at.”
South Auckland Campus—Te Papa Ako o Tai Tonga
What’s the best and worst thing about your campus?
Omni: “Best? The random good music that plays when you’re studying.”
Abby: “The closeness of everything and the fact that Breaktime sells countless instant noodle options for cheap.”
Omni: “The worst? Probably the size. Looking forward to them expanding this place.”
Abby: “Parking. For four hour classes, you either run between classes and leave your car at the mall with the risk of being ticketed, or you be one of those ones who pays $8 for a whole day of parking.”
How would you describe your campus community?
Omni: “Everyone passes the vibe check. We’re all brown people achieving excellence and should be proud that we’ve made it this far. They are also funny asf. Very few of us though. Less rules out South, we lawless. I see groups playing Frank Ocean and Lomez Brown out loud and it just brings good vibes.”
Abby: “The community is really friendly. It’s busy but you can pass people and say hi, which is cute. There’s these security guards I pass every week on my way to classes and no matter who it is they greet you and ask how your day is going.”
How does the city campus compare to the South Auckland campus?
Omni: “Years of going to city campus during undergrad have destroyed any joy I once had. Getting rid of the music library, the best spot for studying, was a red flag. Then building a whole new engineering building when they already had a flash one SMFH. City campus is carried by the fact that we can go to town after. South campus may not have the resources but we got the vibez.”
Abby: “I have never been to the city for classes, but going for orientation a couple years ago I was hella lost and the coffee I had was gross and overpriced.”
Does your campus pass the vibe check?
Omni: “The people pass the vibe check; I just wish the campus was bigger and had more resources.”
Abby: “I reckon it passes the vibe check, I would highly recommend it to students who are not keen on city life and want a bit more community. If you go there, I guarantee you will be looked after 100%.”
