Aisha O’Malley, Women’s and Minorities Officer
I am surprised to say this, but the lockdown has really upped my appreciation for the humble fish and chip shop. Because what other food do you eat on a Friday night when you truly can’t be bothered to cook, and just want to sit in front of Netflix, watching Gilmore Girls for the third time because finding a new show to binge is too much work. Ladies and gentlemen, in the era where I have barely left my house in almost two months, the fish and chips shop right down the road is the perfect place.
KFC is frankly just too far and too expensive. My flatmate refuses to drive me to KFC, and I don’t have a car. This takes KFC out of the small radius around my house I can venture out of in my track pants and hoodie without the fear of looking feral weighing over my head. And why would I want to spend my dwindling student allowance on a dinner pack from KFC, if I could just spend $5 on chips and a hot dog from Newton Fish ‘n’ Chips and be just as satisfied? Because while KFC tastes good, the fish and chips shop has far more happy childhood memories attached to it than the 11 herbs and spices ever will. In stressful times like these, the most comforting thing to turn to is unhealthy food that has nostalgic associations with our childhoods. Fish and chips will help you forget the crippling economic and health conditions going on around us.
Going to the local chippie also has the added benefit of satisfying Aunt Jacinda. I can feel proud that I am fulfilling my patriotic duty when I spend at the local businesses she always harps on about. The humble fish and chips shop is in much more danger than the multi-millionaire dollar business that is KFC, and while KFC is a nice summer fling, the local fish and chips shop is the trusty relationship you always return to. So I, being a saviour of the New Zealand economy, will happily buy from the local fish and chip shop.
Chenchen Huang, Vice President
Nothing – I repeat – nothing, beats wicked at 3pm on a Tuesday afternoon. When it’s only one day through the work week, and you already wish for the weekend to be back again, nothing is more comforting than the humble wicked wing. And after six weeks without a fix, you should undoubtedly pay your local KFC a visit before you go to your local takeaways.
First, KFC is simply the more comforting food. Just think back to all the times you’ve felt sad and alone, where you thought nothing could cheer you up, KFC was there to raise your spirits. It is of great tradition to mourn bad grades, friends who’ve moved to different cities, and the loss of a World Cup thanks to some quack’s idea of how tiebreaks should be decided. Because, no matter how bad life treats you, KFC will never change and always be there for you. I think we’ve all had a rough few weeks and are in need of some comfort.
Compare the consistency and comfort brought by KFC to what you get at the local fish and chip shop. To start off with, no chippie is the same, so you’re basically gambling on what you’re going to get; you always risk getting four-week old soggy fish caught before lockdown began. You might choose to bring that home, to the horror of your flatmates that have to suffer under a stench for the next few weeks. On the other hand, chicken is chicken, a pleasant food that isn’t a ticking time bomb. But aside from all this, the vibe of fish and chips is simply not what we need right now. Fish and chips taste like a celebration and like regularity. Sure, we’ll celebrate a little as a country as we see our friends again, but I’m sure we all still just need some comfort at the moment. Just go get some tasty KFC.