Determining How Much I Want To Try Certain Drugs Based On Their Representations In Media
Scooby Doo, Marijuana 10/10
It has been speculated for years that the creators of Scooby Doo were both on drugs and writing about drugs throughout the entire duration of the hit children’s cartoon. You are lying to yourself if you deny this. You are also lying to yourself if rewatching it as an adult has not been a huge factor in your desire to try marijuana. Those Scooby Snacks and footlong sandwiches looked so good sober, that I can only imagine the taste sensation they would create whilst under the influence. And yeah, maybe I’d kiss Shaggy.
Midsommar, Psychedelic Plants 2/10
Yes, there is a huge chance I end up dying a horrific death at the hands of a cult, but these two points out of ten are not related to any sadistic kink I have. The fact is, I would love to sit down and drink any kind of tea with Florence Pugh. Who knows, maybe I’m the May Queen and I just get to vibe.
Glee Season One Episode Six, Pseudoephedrine 9/10
I would give anything to be able to perform something as breathtaking as a mash up of Bon Jovi’s It’s My Life and Usher’s Confessions. I would give anything to be as passionate as this ragtag team of losers was in said performance. The only reason this isn’t a ten out of ten craving for me is Will Schuester is in the episode.
28 Days, Painkillers 5/10
I’m aware that this film is a little more serious in its tackling of drugs in comparison to the other pieces of media on this list. Addiction is no laughing matter and rehab a deeply physically and emotionally challenging process to go through. However, at its core it is a classic 2000s Sandra Bullock romcom and I will be critiquing it as such. Yes, someone dies and there are a few tragic accidents, but this movie makes rehab look like such a nice holiday.
The Simpsons Season Twenty Episode Seventeen, Antidepressants 10/10
I wanted to try the Ignorital that Lisa is prescribed so much that I did! It is devastatingly not as smiley-faced based as Lisa’s experience, but that episode was the best ad for anti-depressants that I have ever seen. I will always chase that feeling.
Spongebob Season One Episode Fourty, All Drugs 0/10
Once again speculation has suggested this episode ‘Hooky’ uses fish hooks as a quite literal metaphor for getting hooked on drugs. Perhaps it is the perfect metaphor delivered through the perfect source to a young and impressionable mind, but perhaps that mind was also too young to understand what a metaphor was. It definitely didn’t entice me to fish, or stick hooks in my mouth, and I don’t suffer from addiction so I’d say mission accomplished.
Lana Del Rey’s Discography, All Drugs 1/10
Lana expertly makes doing drugs seem beautiful, but in the way that she also makes depression seem beautiful. I don’t need drugs to feel sad, I need them to feel the opposite. In Lana’s world all drugs are downers.
The Beatles’ Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club, All Drugs 10/10
This album is phenomenal, stick needles in my veins and give me a repeat prescription for everything the doctor can give me. Then again, maybe I don’t need drugs if I have music. Then again, have you listened to music on drugs?
Yellowjackets, Shrooms -1000/10
The Sniffing Glue Clip Harold The Giraffe Showed Me, Glue -1000/10
I legitimately still have nightmares about this. I am unbelievably keen to never touch inhalants, and keep both my nostrils as separate nostrils.