I thought Turning Red was just gonna be another Pixar animated film. It was funny, and then that shit hit me like a thousand-ton truck. Yikes.
Turning Red, a 2022 Pixar animated film directed by Domee Shi, centralises on a 13-year-old girl, Meilin Lee, and the relationship she navigates with her mother and herself. Always stellar, always eager, and can be claimed as the ‘perfect girl’. Plainly? Meilin’s main goal is to honour her mother. However, things get rough when she wakes up one morning as a giant fuzzy red panda; with an overgrown physique and all the hair. Mei then discovers that the panda is aggravated by any strong emotion. Her mum tells her that all the women in their family deal with this, and it can only be vanquished once under the red moon. Throughout generations the panda—that was initially a gift from her ancestors—is seen as something crude and unpleasant. Thus, Mei finds that the panda can be hidden, as long as she finds her happy place, the serenity that is: her girl gang.
As the story progresses, she battles with the ordeal: is her mum right about this? Initially viewing her panda as a monster, she starts to question whether it’s a beast to tame or part of the beauty that builds her. Along with the release of the panda, she realises that people love her either way, and that she learns to stand up for herself for even the small things. With the help of her friends and her own journey of self-identification. Meilin starts to break free, as her goal shifts from making her mother proud to simply just being true to herself. Cheesy? I know, but hit too fucking close to home.
People who don’t understand the film, will think that it perpetuates children to rebel against their parents… and that force of ‘rebellion’ should be taken as a ‘good sign’. Though, it’s not rebellion per se, it’s just Meilin going through puberty. When introduced to most of us, they don’t address puberty as a reason for most of our actions. Instead of being explained to and reassured, often we’re reprimanded and belittled, especially with the phrase: “don’t worry that’s nothing, I’ve gone through that and no one will care”. It’s true, as you grow up, you realise people don’t actually care; but because these changes are so noticeable to you, you apply that same belief to everyone’s perspective and that’s okay. Seeing your body change drastically, growing hair in different places, getting acne, feeling ugly, gaining weight, and getting your period (plus the mood swings and cramps that come with? geez), is not worthy of a don’t-worry-it-will-pass reaction. Puberty doesn’t feel like it ever ends, only until it does, that you feel a somewhat steadiness. For me, it was dealing with emotion.
Mei finds that the panda can be hidden, as long as she finds her happy place, the serenity that is: her girl gang.
In a culture that taught me to just not feel it and just contain it, I had the hardest time dealing with my anger, growing up. Everytime I felt distraught, I felt inadequate. I realised I couldn’t contain it, and my inability to push down ‘negative emotions’ erupted in my 20s. Going through therapy, I was taught that feelings are neither good nor bad, they’re just feelings. I wish I could tell my 16-year-old self that. And maybe, I would’ve been kinder to myself… but alas, there’s more to dissect.
Firstly, Meilin’s character was so iconic. I looked like her when I was young, and she and I are so similar in so many ways, even ways I wish we weren’t. It was so important for me to see an Asian female character who had spunk and charm that wasn’t necessarily adjacent to dorkiness. I loved how driven she was. Meilin was self-sufficient and vibrant. I wish I could say I also possessed all these qualities, but the best I can say is I’m still learning to grow them, from the example set by the strong women around me. The hard part was Mei’s mirroring of self-frustration and the constant need for external validation for doing everything by the book and being put together. There is this conditioning to always honour your parents, and respect the hierarchy in the family, but as you age—whether you come from an assimilated Asian culture or not—you start to question what you want for yourself. You ask, “Is it okay that I want different things?”, “Is it bad, what I’m wanting?”, or even plainly, “Is it selfish to want?”
Secondly, growing up, I also had a girl gang—whom I solemnly swear I would kill for; seeing this kind of girls-for-girls representation felt so warm. I never saw that growing up. Meilin was also so strong and so focused on finding what actually grounds her, and her friends were so supportive and accepting of who she was. They all excelled in their own ways. Miriam was empathetic and truthful. Priya was steady. Abby was so cheerful and giving. These four characters living in harmony, just being themselves, and encouraging each other to break patterns, was really refreshing to see on screen.
It was so important for me to see an Asian female character who had spunk and charm that wasn’t necessarily adjacent to dorkiness.
Lastly, the fact that the panda-change only exists in the women of the family is such an accurate touch. There’s this irony I’ve come to notice, even if more Asian families have progressed into a more matriarchal culture, the allowance for Asian women to be humane, still hasn’t budged. And I know it probably has to deal with a global scale of feminism, but it’s important to understand that in a microscale we, Asian women, are still taught to present ourselves in such a pristine and respectable way… anything less, is truly dishonourable to the family. My cousin and I constantly get told off for being too loud or ‘aggressive’; if we ever rage or cry it’s taken on as an abnormality. The weird thing is, we have less of an allowance to feel but more responsibility for our actions. That, to me, is an enigma, and Turning Red represents it so well. This wasn’t fully resolved in the movie, but thinking it would be was too idealist of me. The film did show the inner entanglement of the roles attached to being an Asian woman (a student, a mother, a teen, a daughter, etc.) and how one lives in a constant dichotomy: living with who you really are and how you are with other people—especially family. But is it really necessary to live in fragments? It depicted how hard it was for these female characters to deconstruct emotion, whilst showing how powerful and strong they were.
All I really can say is that, there’s really nothing like this film. I thought it was going to be just another animated film, but the way it just hit so close to home, made me tear up. I have nothing else to say except bravo to Domee Shi and their mainly female-led and filled team. To see someone that looks like me, and so similar to how I was, being a hero on screen, made me and other people like me feel so seen.