Who Asked You #2

Welcome to Craccum, where we put the “agony” in “agony aunt.” We’re not qualified to deal with your problems, but neither are you. 

Help! My ex is in my course and I can’t avoid them in lectures. What do I do???

Drop out. 

I have a huge crush on my lecturer. How can I get them to notice me?

Are you a law student? If you are, I know the public law lecturer you’re talking about, and you’re valid. God knows how else we would have got through judicial review. 

Craccum’s Daily Dose of Truth is that you will literally never be with your lecturer. If a grown adult wants to date one of their students then they’re probably a piece of shit and you should run. Lecturers don’t know you. You’re a literal face in a sea of people who literally look exactly the same (next time you’re in an arts lecture, count the red flannels. It will exceed the numbers that you know.)

The idea of a lecturer dating a student is just so WEIRD. Irrespective of the probable age gap; even if it was a mature student I’d be creeped the fuck out.  Imagine being a teacher, a literal teacher of a person, and then wanting to date them. When you’ve read their essays and KNOW how stupid they are. If my English lecturer had wanted to date me after reading my very serious analysis of Jack Reacher novels, I would have sent them for a brain scan, or at the very least some intensive therapy. 

That said, if you really want to get down with a faculty member, you’re probably going to have the most success over in Fine Arts – they get fucked by the Uni every day, might as well add you to the list. 

Why are men great till they gotta be great?

Because they text you, instead of telling it straight to your face.

Nah idk boo. I reckon get a burner phone and start making some extra bank in collab with NangsofAuckland.