Who Asked You #11

Welcome to Craccum, where we put the “agony” in “agony aunt.” We’re not qualified to deal with your problems, but neither are you.

How the fuck do I get a tinder boy to love me?

Why in god’s name would you want to do that?

Help, I think Craccum’s Agony Aunt makes up their bs submissions.

Did I answer your question, or did I send this to myself? You’ll never know for sure. I hope it keeps you awake at night.

How do I tell a group partner (politely) TO HURRY UP AND DO THEIR WORK?!

GOD I hate group work. We should petition the university to get it banned. Cameron and Dan, can we do something about that? Anyway, ask very nicely if they need any help with their part of the project. If that doesn’t work, set their house on fire* email the lecturer and beg for their mercy. Throw your partner under the bus as hard as you can. Literally, run that fucker right over.*

The only good thing about lockdown has been living in a world without any other people. God speed, friend.

*STOP CENSORING ME WHEN I ADVOCATE FOR CRIMES, IT VIOLATES MY FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

I’ve saved a lot of money thanks to the lockdown. What should I do with it?