Considering the increase in sextortion cases, Craccum asked University of Auckland students whether they’ve been a victim, or perpetrator, of revenge porn.
*Maia (she/her): “I was going out with this guy for a while, and I ended things, and he was furious. He ended up sharing some quite explicit photos of me with his friends (in a group chat. Not just showing them, they were saved for them to look at whenever they wanted). One of the friends in the group told me what he’d done but it’s not like I could do anything about it at that point—they’d already been shared. It feels like getting punched in the stomach. You’re angry, you want to cry, throw up; the person you thought you trusted just objectifies you to embarrass you.”
*Dylan (he/him): “I’m so ashamed to say this, but when I was in high school, I deliberately shared nude photos a girl had sent me. It was on a private Instagram so only people on the account saw it, but it was still about a hundred people and obviously they could have screenshotted it and shared it. I regret it so much; it was so wrong. When you’re young and no one’s really monitoring you on social media though it’s so easy, and no one really stands up for the girl because in those situations she’s always put in the wrong. Biggest regret of my life.”
*Julia (she/her): “My boyfriend’s friend posted the sex tape my boyfriend and I made for our own personal use. I’m not going to go into detail as to why, but he posted it maliciously without a doubt, and he even said that to us. I had never felt so embarrassed in my entire life. I know a lot of my friends saw it, someone even made my family aware and one of my family members saw it. I think the embarrassment half the time is an internal feeling. You’re always going to get people saying you’re a slut, you’re a disappointment, “why would you take the video in the first place?!”, but it’s when you start to feel embarrassed about your own sex life and body that hurts. That’s something you should feel safe in, not have it torn apart on the internet.”
*Noah (they/them): “Everyone I know who has had explicit photos or videos shared of them identify as female. I know it happens to all genders, but I think it’s sad that women are always the ones that are put through abuse even though they’re the victim. What they do in their personal life is their business, and if someone publishes that to deliberately impact them negatively, then they’re such a horrible person. Women shouldn’t have to feel scared to be sex positive out of fear of other people being horrible, it’s a messed-up reality.”
*Mona (they/them): “Personally, I’ve never had it happen to me, but I have friends that have. I think it’s a lot more common in the student age group than people think, which is sad because it’s also the age group that’s trying to promote sex positivity. It’s just sad that people think that’s okay to do to someone else, it’s disgusting really.”
*Gareth (he/him): “I had a video shared of me once. I don’t know if it was specifically revenge porn, but my school found out about it. I got sent to the principal’s office and my parents were called in. Even if it’s not vengeful it’s definitely demoralising, and can damage your future.”
*names have been changed to preserve privacy.