Nine Beginning-of-Semester Resolutions to Immediately Break
The start of a new semester is often a time to reflect on last sem’s mistakes. Here are Nine Uni resolutions we’ve all made and (probably) broken.
1. Will make responsible Munchy Mart purchases
Sure, a treat every now and then is fine. But when you’re spending 50% of your income at munchy mart on lunches that have been in the fridge since Y2K, it’s probably time to do some meal planning.
2. Will stay on top of coursework
In theory, it should be easy. You have so much time in between classes! A reading should only take, what, 20 minutes? 2 hours later, your eyes are glazing over as you realize you’ve read the same paragraph at least three times. ‘I don’t have time for this!’ You say, ‘I’ll just stay really focussed during lectures!’ oh, honey.
3. Will actually attend ‘discussion hours’
Once you’ve been at uni for 3 + years, anything that isn’t compulsory and/or graded may as well not exist. Since the arts faculty made the decision to reduce pay and remove all structure from tutorials, discussion hours have started to look like: listen to that student who always has his/her hand up talk to the tutor for an hour. Attempt to contribute and be interrupted. Give up trying to contribute. Give up attending discussion hours.
4. Will not sleep in through 8am lectures
How did any of us manage to get to school by 8.30 for 13 years straight, when an 8am lecture or tutorial feels like literal torture? I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve chosen not to do certain papers solely because they had 8am lectures. Honestly, even making 10am lectures is a mammoth task some days.
5. Will bring a packed lunch every day
In a similar vein to #1, this resolution requires forward planning. Week one, you’ll be posting your #MealPrep on instagram, proud that you managed to prepare a weeks’ worth of nutritionally balanced lunches. By week three, you’re eating chips with curry sauce at the quad every other day and hoping you don’t run into anyone you know.
6. Will start all assignments a month in advance
Everyone has this fantasy – you start your assignments super early, make them perfect, and never have to suffer through any frenzied all-nighters again. And yet, semester after semester, you end up writing your final paragraph an hour before hand-in.
7. Will go to the gym three times a week
It’s only an hour out of your day, how hard could it be? Plus, exercise will give you more energy to study! However, when it’s a chilly winter day and you’ve just sat through a 2-hour lecture, all you want to do is curl up in bed with a hot chocolate.
8. Will limit my drinking
There’s nothing worse than heading up to Shadows at 12pm, it’s a red flag that your brain is trying to give up before the semester is finished. Maybe it’s time to make a resolution not to drink in between classes. Or to show up hungover to any exams.
9. Will not drive to uni
If you’re running late to a lecture, it can be tempting to think: ‘driving to uni will be so much quicker than taking a bus or an uber!’ But it seems like no matter how late or early in the day it is, you end up spending a minimum of 20 minutes driving back and forth along Princes Street, in search of a park that does not exist. Before you know it, your lecture is nearly over. Time to drive home.