What absolutely essential trade purchase are you? Get the heart rate pumping… You don’t realise how much you need it, until you’re bidding neck to neck with karenponsonby75. It’s a great way to celebrate the end of Semester 1.
Aries
Jona Lomu was a good guy. Make him proud and give his a car spin. For an Aries, one spare seat is all you need. For you and your one friend, the car has cleared out it’s back seats to make room for a sound system capable of 163 decibels. Pump that Fat Freddy’s Drop.
Taurus
Antique cork former, absolutely useless. like you. You always put a damper on the party, just gotta plug things up don’t you? Two redeeming qualities, ‘Very rare.’ and ‘Pickup Arrowtown.’ So qiant. Someone loves you out there, and was willing to bid $154 to take you home. Golddigger?
Gemini
Poles 6m bundle, not quite sure how you are going to transport it from Hamilton but it’s not like anyone is missing you on Campus anyways. Big strong sturdy poles… you need some stability in your life. 8 x poles total, Seller made it very clear it’s a bundle deal. “I see you windin’, and grindin’ up on that pole…’
Cancer
Gold retro mirror. Will it be haunted? Who knows. Please salt it before you bring it inside the house. ‘In good condition,’ sounds dubious, and if you look closer in the photo you can almost see a figure? There is some hidden hectic energy here with the seller stu201.
Leo
Large long bricks. Build yourself back up buddy. You’re a mess. Here’s approximately 210 bricks that ‘still got plenty of uses.’ What uses? That’s for you to find out. There’s currently 43 people watching you, so get in quick (maybe more now…) Buyer must pick up in Palmerston North, and there’s also plenty of other things you can pick up in Palmy.
Virgo
Russia 1964 stamps. Schevchenko set. 1964…Was it a memorable year? ‘The Brezhnev era began with high economic growth and soaring property, but gradually significant problems in social political, and economic areas accumulated… often described as the Era of Stagnation.’ (Wikipedia) Anyways, Schevchenko is regarded as the founding literary hero of modern Ukranian literature.
Libra
Portable composting toilet. Worm based. 3 and a half grand. Basin and foot pump for washing hands. Honestly can’t complain. Seller: Milkmaid knows exactly what we need. Add some LED lights, a UE boom, and warm vodka from a yoghurt pouch and you’re ready to replicate the NZ summer festival vibes in your backyard.
Scorpio
Trademe also helps you figure out Life Insurance now. That’s wild. Along with FindSomeone, you could really have a whole birth and death cycle in one easy brand now. Neato! That’s the cohesive-ness you need in the fragmented state you are in right now.
Sagittarius
A door, $1 reserve, go wild. What’s a grad role in this climate anyways? Carve out your own way, innovate and experiment. I’m telling you, your homebrew hop concoction slaps. Start marketing that shit.
Capricorn
Pony for sale. Live out your horse girl dreams. “Loves being caught and going out. Easy to travel, shoe and clip and holds condition well.” Raptures Royal Wannabe wants you to take her home. She’s a sweetheart, and had her teeth done in July 2019. When’s the last time you went to the dentist?
Aquarius
Decoupage Tile Coasters- Dolphins. That’s the one. Very lovely, these coasters will warm up your flat. The small black beady eyes will ground you if you ever have a bad trip on the dining table. Set of 6, enough for your flatmates and your parents to come over for tea! Buy now for $25, it’s a downright daylight robbery for this gem!
Pisces
Bernie the fire engine is a local celebrity. Note from seller: ‘If we can not sell Bernie as a whole we will take out the motor and gearbox and scrap the rest.’ Breaks my heart! The comment section is also very snippy: with gems such as “will you take a scrunched up 5 dollar note? cheers’ and “Possible to get back to working fire truck small rural town desperately needs a fire truck… thanks”