Hearsay! Rejected Salient Issue Themes

Last week, the University of Otago’s student magazine Critic Te Arohi leaked screenshots revealing the themes for Salient’s (Victoria University’s student magazine) next few editions. This week, the Craccum team goes one level deeper – revealing the totally, definitely, very real themes that Salient rejected.

The Plastic issue: 

Salient says: you might remember when we did our glass issue. Now, Salient tackles another material that is viewed controversially by society’s standards. Each issue comes plastic wrapped, as Salient challenges how society conforms to standards of “protecting the environment”.

Excerpt: “The vegetable bag crisis is the 9/11 of the 21st Century.”

The MEAXLES issue:

Salient says: Here at Salient, we pride ourselves on our ability to confront the issues that truly affect our generation – like measles. Join us as we examine what those red dots truly mean to our culture and to our future generations.

Excerpt: “Is that really your diarrhea? Or is that the diarrhea of society?”

The Comic Sans issue:

Salient says: ‘Nuff said.

Excerpt: “ Midway upon the journey of our life I found myself within a forest dark,  for the straightforward pathway had been lost. Ah me! how hard a thing it is to say what was this forest savage, rough, and stern, which in the very thought renews the fear. So bitter is it, death is little more; but of the good to treat, which there I found, speak will I of the other things I saw there.”

The Sáns Comic issue: 

Salient says: who wants to see an issue written entirely in French, where illustrations of any kind are banned? Us!

Excerpt: “Oui oui baguette oh shit the Germans are coming retreat.”

The Jockeys issue:

Salient says: From the moment we get up in the morning, to the moment we climb back into bed, there is a social contract that governs the way we live our lives. In this issue, we delve into the essence of the foundation of human existence and recognize that socks are more than something physical – they are a symbol of freedom, liberty and the human condition.

Excerpt: “We either exist with Jockeys or we live with bonds.”

The Megalomania issue:

Salient says: What is the self? Self-representation and self perception refracted in societal constructs to be who you truly are and how great I personally am as a person. Me.

Excerpt: “I am probably the most humble person I know.”

The ACTUALLY Taboo issue:

Salient says: Our taboo issue was edgy, but this issue really pushes the limits. Our editor has sex with someone (!) with the lights on! After this, they prank call a Dominoes and smoke some weed! It’s a wild R rated ride.

Excerpt: “Doggy-style is the 9/11 of the 21st Century.”