Following issues with the crosswords of Craccum in recent weeks, our Co-Editors will now be stepping down. Flora Xie and Naomii Seah will be replaced by Xlora Fie and Saomii Neah effective immediately.
“The dedicated crossword community at the University of Auckland has hounded us into making our resignation,” said Naomii, outgoing Co-Editor. “Here at Craccum, we take our jobs very seriously. We definitely don’t drink on the job or create piss-take ad hoc content, and we are deeply regretful that we have let down our biggest fans and supporters—the crossword enthusiasts.
“We hope to one day earn back our reputation as the number one trusted source for crosswords at the University of Auckland and beyond.”
The editorial team has received multiple verbal and written missives from concerned students regarding the recent crossword issues. Flora, outgoing Co-Editor, can’t even leave her house without being berated by the 95bFM staff about errors in the crosswords. “Is this what it’s like to be cancelled?” She asks.
“Aye, what the fuck?” Observed one dedicated puzzler. “The only reason I pick up this stupid magazine is to do the crossword in my lecture. Reading the content is for losers.”
“Not being able to do the crossword kept me up for several nights,” said another puzzle enthusiast. “Because I was sleep deprived, I fell asleep in my lectures and failed my test, which meant I couldn’t graduate.
“I was so devastated I pissed my pants in front of my crush, who then called the police when I took my pants off in front of them to dry off. I was arrested for public indecency and now I’m facing 10 years in jail. Craccum’s crossword mistakes have RUINED MY LIFE.”
Incoming Co-Editor Saomii Neah says, “we will learn from the mistakes of our previous Editors, and we apologise for the hurt caused by the incorrect crosswords. To demonstrate just how sorry we are, this week’s crossword on page 37 is now apology themed.”