BILLIE HIT ME HARD AND SOFT

Contributor Article Written by Fania Kapao

Jorts, dunks and fingers weighted by all the silver rings in the world was part of the uniform for concert goers at Billie Eilish's "Hit Me Hard and Soft" show last Saturday in Melbourne. While I was sans rings, I was abundantly aware that maybe, just maybe, I may have been the longest running Billie fan in the Rod Laver Stadium after following her journey for about a decade. This thought struck me only after talking to one of the families I sat next to, of which none of them were fans except their youngest daughter who was 14 years old, the same age I was when I first started listening to Billie. I then realised that although Billie and I are both 23, the majority of the audience was about 16 years old on average compared to her last NZ show where they were 20 years old. Yikes. My first thought was "WHAT YALL KNOW BOUT BILLIE EILISH PIRATE BAIRD O'CONNELL" and my second was "🙄". I told myself to quit judging but I couldn't help it with the deafening accents offering their vocals up for backing. 

Ashnikko opened the show with an electrifying set with amazing choreography, costumes and of course, music!!! She performed an array of hits, including Slumberparty and Daisy, singles that went viral on social media. An interesting (maybe 'questionable' is the right word lol) interaction was her comments on experiencing a wardrobe malfunction during the set which everyone cheered for??? Like...why is everyone cheering for that? Idk was weird imo 

Minutes before the start of her set, the stadium was buzzing. Members of Billie's band showed up one by one, each receiving rapturous applause from the crowd. Then the star of the show popped out of a box (5 screens in the shape of a box), opening with Chihiro. What blew me away the most (besides Billie of course) was the crowds reaction!!! Sorry Auckland but, I've been to a fair few concerts in my time, and none of them had the same vibe as Melbourne in terms of crowd buzz. I feel that we Aucklanders get a bit too stuck up and prefer to not be perceived as being able to enjoy anything besides bottomless brunches and Kathmandu puffer jackets. 

Billie ran (literally ran around the set with a camera in hand) through a multitude of hits including: Lunch, When the Party's Over, Bad Guy, Happier Than Ever, Birds of a Feather and Guess, her feature with the iconic Charli xcx. She performed When the Party's Over acoustically via loop pedals, adding to how deeply emotional and moving the tone of the song was. Compared to her last NZ concert, her sad songs no longer sound like open wounds, but rather healed scars she wears proudly. Oxytocin and When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? utilised strobing lights and pyrotechnics galore which I feel contributed to me rolling my ankle while jumping around lol. There was even a little bit where Billie did the whole "Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi" thing? As a very proud kuki-hamo-kiwi, I felt like an imposter behind enemy lines in that moment, especially since miss ma'am didn't come to Aotearoa...I know artists don't get to choose where they go but like...yeah. 

Throughout the concert I found myself laughing at Billie rolling around on stage, crying at the memories her music brought back to me and feeling as carefree as the 14-year-old girl next to me. I remember going through the same feelings and situations as Billie like having low self-esteem issues, terrible thoughts on the way I perceived my body, feeling alone and unwanted. I remembered how relieving it felt to have someone to look up to and grow up alongside, even if you don't know them. How freeing it was to have someone verbalize those feelings. Despite our age difference, I began to realise why the young gyal was dancing without a care in the world, crying and screaming every lyric. Music connects and heals. It validates experiences. It makes you remember what shaped you. Looking back it was phenomenal to be sharing that with a stadium full of young people who are unsure of life and what it holds. I'm still unsure, but like Billie, I've gone through a ton of stuff that gave me a new perspective, and I'm sure the youngins will experience that too. 

So, Tiana, thank you for reminding me of youth in all its glory, and Billie, PLEASE COME BACK TO AOTEAROA USOOOOO cos I promised to go to every concert of yours and I can't if you ain't here boo 😭🫶🏽 

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