Did you know Rita Ora was in Fifty Shades? Lol.
What is BDSM? It’s the knowing use of psychological dominance and submission, and/or physical bondage, and/or pain, and/or related practices in a safe, legal, consensual manner in order for the participants to experience erotic arousal and/or for personal growth.
Thanks to the release of the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise, the field of BDSM launched into the mainstream. As is common for most subcultures becoming suddenly exposed to the masses, this has resulted in BDSM becoming oversimplified and the mainstream adoption of a lot of incorrect BDSM misconceptions and myths. So, let’s clear up some of these myths, shall we?
Myth 1: BDSM is a thing only for freaks and most people aren’t interested in it
Like most myths, this one does come from a nugget of truth that has then been exaggerated and misinterpreted, as is the norm! In this case, the nugget of truth is that BDSM is only practised by a low number of individuals. A 2002 study in Australia that interviewed 19,000 Australians via phone had 1.8% of the sexually active participants admit to being involved in BDSM within the previous year. It’s pretty straightforward then; BDSM is pretty rare, right?
Well actually….
This study only counted those who had engaged in BDSM within the past year, meaning those who hadn’t engaged previously or had lacked a partner in the last year weren’t included in these results. The study didn’t include people who only enjoy specific BDSM elements like blindfolds and bondage. If you include these people, it’s way more common!
In fact, rough estimates put it that:
- 64% of women and 53% of men fantasise about being dominated sexually;
- 46% of women and 59% of men fantasise about dominating someone else; and,
- 52% of women and 46% of men fantasise about being tied up by someone.
I’d say it’s pretty clear that BDSM is interesting to a lot of people. So, that myth is busted!
Myth 2: BDSM Practitioners are mentally unsettled
Most people tend to think that BDSM is only practised by individuals suffering from some form of mental illness and often refer to BDSM practitioners as freaks. In fact, before 2013, participating in BDSM was considered a sign of mental illness. Thankfully, that’s changed and these days BDSM is only considered a disorder when it stops someone from living a functional life.
Still, most people think those that practise BDSM are missing a couple of screws. But guess what? Turns out getting screwed means that BDSM practitioners might actually be more sound than the rest of us. Studies show that compared to the average Joe, BDSM practitioners are:
- Less neurotic;
- More extroverted;
- More open to new experiences;
- Less sensitive to rejection;
- Less likely to experience depression, paranoia, or anxiety; and,
- More healthy in their well-being.
The idea that those who engage in restraints, tend to be the ones with the less restrained mental states is rather amusing. Funky, right?
Myth 3: BDSM is only about sex
When defining BDSM, I made sure to specifically stress that the practice of BDSM is not inherently sexual; this is because of our third myth. While there is an undeniable sexual motivation for BDSM, there are several non-sexual motivations for BDSM practitioners. One of these is the idea of rescripting trauma.
So, how can one practise BDSM to rescript trauma?
Now for the academic shit. Strap in (or strap on). There is this theory called ‘escape from self.’ When people experience anxiety or discomfort from the pressures of responsibility and maintaining a favourable public image, the stress from these experiences can cause individuals to foster a desire to escape from the strict constraints placed upon themselves by engaging in something that they do not have to control, such as watching TV, extreme sports or consumption of drugs. Many elements of BDSM such as non-permanent pain and bondage also facilitate individuals to escape from themselves, by using the altered states of consciousness achieved during BDSM to divert distress away from the individual’s concerns.
This plays into something called transient hypofrontality, which refers to a state when the focused, thought-processing part of the brain has been turned off. Individuals experiencing transient hypofrontality will feel like they are in a sort of dreamlike state with feeling unburdened by social constraints, experiencing a reduction of pain and removal from the mess of their thoughts by being pulled into the here and now. Once an individual is using BDSM to deliberately work through their trauma, they are partaking in something known as trauma play.
Trauma play is the act of repeatedly reenacting one’s trauma due to the human drive to seek understanding and coherence of an originally confusing event that was not obtainable during the original event. This repeated reenactment allows the individual to not only gain a better understanding of their trauma, but also by bringing the trauma to the surface of the brain, the individuals are given a chance to rescript the trauma, which is first done by allowing the individual to express unspoken feelings and thoughts. This process can also be clinically referred to as “growth.” It can easily be seen by the increase in the individual’s range and freedom of psychological exploration and their quality of life outside of BDSM—such as experiencing less anxiety and stress. Yes ma’am!
By deconstructing these three major BDSM myths, I hope you now know just how bad a representation of BDSM in the Fifty Shades series is. The writing quality sucks, but we’ve all been aware of that. There’s an entire world out there, and if you’re interested in trying out things yourself, I hope your experience is far healthier than anything depicted there. (Lifestyle editor’s note: Try out Belle de Jour for a more interesting entry-level movie with these themes)
We edited out Zachary’s sources for the sake of room, but please message us @ Craccum if you have any questions, as we’d be happy to provide the bibliography that went into this piece.