It would be easy to simply write off The Matrix as a forgotten byproduct of Y2K hysteria and anxiety over the vague level of existentialist thought […]

I hate The Matrix, okay? There, I said it. Go home and cry about it. It’s a boring, poorly acted, weirdly-coloured cardboard cut-out of a movie.  […]

Who’s Neil Breen? Only a god of terrible small budget movies. Since 2005, Breen has been pumping out a factory line of absolutely shocking movies: Fateful […]

“Play a fucking game with me, Ray” opens Fletcher (Hugh Grant), a slimy, ex-boyfriend-type private investigator trying to blackmail £20 million from Ray (Charlie Hunnam). Reluctantly, […]

Why do horses lend themselves to depression metaphors so well??? In my second piece about depressing horse-related content in this issue, I present to you Horse […]

The Oscar movie Scar-Jo wished she were in this awards season. Up until the Oscars, I still hadn’t seen the critically-acclaimed film Parasite. I mean, I’ve […]

Memento is the classic who-dunnit, murder-mystery, will-they-snap-or-won’t-they thriller put into a blender and thrown at a wall. It follows the story of Leonard, a man with […]

Daylight savings was fucking me over and I couldn’t concentrate, and upon seeing a clip on my Twitter feed about how long ago A Goofy Movie […]