With two weeks of the semester gone, first years have gotten their first taste of tertiary study during the apocalypse. But the end times haven’t stopped students from feeling like uni wasn’t made with them in mind.
With UoA being online for the first six weeks, many undergrads have missed out on a normal integration period within tertiary study. This, coupled with already present feelings of imposter syndrome, have only added to issues new students face in these uncertain times.
Craccum spoke to indigenous students across faculties about how they’re feeling after two weeks of uni, and if any form of imposter syndrome has set in yet even with it being online.
Caleb (Ngāti Maniapoto), Computer Science
How have you felt during the first two weeks of uni?
“I’m used to classes being online. The last few lockdowns during my last year at high school prepared me for this. I would have liked to see the campus and walked around a bit to get that feeling that you’re actually at university, but I guess it wasn’t meant to be haha.”
Do you ever have feelings of imposter syndrome, self-doubt, or that you don’t belong?
“Tuākana sessions have made me feel much more comfortable. It’s less strict and way more funny, and the tutors are just happy for us to be here. The people are a bit more relatable and make me feel like there is a place for me here.”
“I’ve had bouts with ‘imposter syndrome’. I went to Westlake Boys and the environment never made me feel like school was for me. I was convinced I was a fraud despite getting excellence endorsement. I think that’s how it might’ve been for me if lectures were in person or if I never found out about Tuākana. For now, I’m comfortable with online learning but would like to step onto campus one day.”
Ngaio (Ngāi Tūhoe), Environmental Science
How have you felt during the first two weeks of uni?
“This is my second year, and the majority of my student life has been behind a screen. I took too much on in my first year, joined a lot of clubs, tried to become class representative for everything. My dad said I was juggling too many balls and felt bad when I couldn’t keep them all in the air at once.”
Do you ever have feelings of imposter syndrome, self-doubt, or that you don’t belong?
“My dad is a high school teacher, he always said uni isn’t made with our people in mind, but I’m comfortable with the subject I’m studying, and I think I bring an important viewpoint to a pretty westernised subject. I think it’s because of the environment. I’ve made friends who come from the same culture as me and their presence makes me feel like I belong here. I have this anxious need to try and do a lot, and that manifests with me trying to be a superhero when I should just be trying to be me. I’ve returned to the hobbies that make me happy and I think this year will be better than the last.”
Mikaere (Ngāpuhi), Biological Sciences
How have you felt during the first two weeks of uni?
“I miss being around friends, it’s hard to pay attention to online lectures.”
Do you ever have feelings of imposter syndrome, self-doubt, or that you don’t belong?
“I think being in Tuākana has helped me a lot. I look around and see people that look like me and it makes me feel better about have a place here.”
“I don’t know if I would call it self-doubt, but I worry a lot in terms of my grades. I’m afraid of failing, being unsuccessful. I’ve had to take some classes that med students had to do as well, and I’ve felt like I wasn’t good enough. I think it was a genetics paper, BIOSCI202, the lab practicals made me feel inadequate without much support. I guess you could say those were moments where I felt like I didn’t belong.”
Kristen (Ngāpuhi, Ngāti Pūkenga) Arts
How have you felt during the first two weeks of uni?
“I was excited to start uni and be on campus after last year. I can’t imagine being online is the same experience as actually being in and around uni.”
Do you ever have feelings of imposter syndrome, self-doubt, or that you don’t belong?
“I remember writing on imposter syndrome when I was in high school, I remember there being a few different forms of it. The form that always stuck with me was when a person prefers to work alone. It was me being afraid of being incompetent in the presence of someone else. When I worked alone, my grades were great, but paired with someone else or a group, I thought I would be seen as incompetent. So far, it’s been all solo work for me.”
