Life can’t always be like Sex and the City, especially when you’re busy doing an assignment or cramming for an exam, but fear not—we’re here to help! You didn’t ask for relationship or sex advice, but we’re giving it to you anyway. Between the two of us—Samantha Bones and Cunty Bradshaw—we’re gonna make sure you have the best sex of your life and feel good doing it!
“Is casual sex worth it?”
Samantha Bones: Well, it depends what you mean by “worth it”. Let me tell you a not-so-secret: my body count is in the hundreds. It doesn’t get that high without a lot of casual sex—and like my namesake, I’m not shy about it. That’s because I know no matter how much casual sex I have, my worth as a person doesn’t change, despite what society tries to tell women in general. And if my new partner(s) don’t understand that, then I’m not interested. So, in that sense, pursuing my own consensual sexual gratification without caring about gendered social pressures is definitely worth it.
However, some specific incidences of casual sex were not at all worth it, mostly because some men think DJ-ing labia for 30 seconds will make you cum. It’s the risk you take with casual sex: some of it will be good, and some of it will be bad. But as long as it’s consensual and safe, I say go for it. Everyone has to have a ho phase sometime: might as well be when you’re young and have lots of attractive options. Remember: wear a condom, always check about birth-control, and get an STI test two weeks after every new partner.
Cunty Bradshaw: Agree with Samantha here, it really depends. And in particular, it depends on what you’re looking for, to be honest. If you’re just looking to get off, I’d say that you could invest in a good vibrator and that’ll do the trick for you (and probably better than an average one-night-stand). It’s probably an essential item at this point. If you just want to give it a go, go right ahead! Try it out, see if it’s your jam. But I would say to know what you want out of it before you dive right in, because it can affect you (and others) on some levels if you’re not clear with yourself about your own intentions—it’s a different experience for everyone, and it’s most important to put yourself first. If you’re uncomfortable, get out ASAP. If you’re looking for comfort from someone else’s touch, I would say casual sex is not the way to go. But if you just broke up with someone and you’re in the mood for a ho phase, go get it gurl.
“Is it alright to feel nervous about your first time?”
Samantha Bones: Of course it is! With all the emphasis on “virginity” in our culture, it’s pretty normal to be nervous. But it’s like riding a bike for the first time. It’s scary beforehand, and you’ve got to wear a helmet, but eventually you get the hang of it, and you’ll figure out how to pedal so you can go where you want, if you get my drift. And just like learning to ride a bike, you’re still the same person afterwards. The sky doesn’t move. And if there’s blood, you’re probably doing it wrong.
Cunty Bradshaw: Absolutely! It’s likely that everyone feels nervous about their first time because no one really knows what they’re getting into. In fact, it’s probably normal to be nervous for the first few times you have sex. You might be nervous for a particular reason, like about whether you’re “losing your virginity” to the right person, whether it’s happening at the right time or not, what it will feel like, etc. They’re all common concerns, but the main question to ask yourself is if you want this and if you feel comfortable. As long as you’re comfortable, it’s all okay. And the important thing to keep in mind is that sex should feel good.
