Career: University of Auckland Vice-Chancellor
If you answered mostly No interest, be on the lookout for University of Auckland’s next Vice-Chancellor on student job search. You’re a born pen-pusher, a due-today-do-a-bogus-extension-request-today kinda worker. You need a career that works for you, not the other way around, because you simply don’t give a fuck. A career where you can send your cronies to do your dirty work whilst reaping the big bucks is just for you!
Career: Consistent Craccum Reader
If you answered mostly Neutral, then being a Consistent Craccum Reader is right up your alley. You’re not fussed by the behind-the-scenes, you just care about what’s new on the scene—it’s what fuels your trek to campus to pick up a copy every week! Your CV highlights your diligence, your tenacity, and your ability to put up with some absolute bullshit. Your previous employment history includes ‘studentcoursereview.co.nz contributor’, probably.
Career: Craccum Contributor
If you answered mostly Fairly Interested, then the always-in-demand role of Craccum Contributor is for you. You’re full of ideas and have an enthusiasm for work that supersedes your need for money. Seeing your face in a little bubble gives you such a high you can only handle it a few times a year. You have a clear sense of who you are and what’s good for you, and producing something every week just isn’t it. Fellow employees and managers respect your boundaries but also see your potential so are always (not so silently) begging you for more.
Career: Craccum Sections Editor
If you answered mostly Very Interested you would be a perfect Section Editor. You said in your interview that you thrived under the pressure of multiple deadlines, but in reality stress fucks up your digestion and your ability to fall asleep at night. You’re a big proponent of type two fun and deLaYEd gratification, except you’re a workaholic, which means you’ll probably die before you let yourself retrospectively enjoy your career’s achievements.