Don’t listen to this writer, skipping classes is great.
The closest thing I can compare my 2021 to is a really long episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Absurd and fever-dream-like in places, but mostly wholesome and fun. All around chaotic good vibes!!! To wrap off the year, here are 21 lessons I’ve learnt thus far in 2021…
- Being on campus is great (but also really expensive): $40 a week on AT Hop (thanks to living in the middle of nowhere, aka East Auckland), 4pm Munchy Mart runs, a couple coffees later and your wallet’s drafting up a restraining order. Thank god for $5 vegan lunches and Hollywood Bakery pies…
- ALWAYS bags the window seat on the bus: This is so when you fall asleep you don’t tumble out into the aisle or worse, onto a stranger’s lap. The reel of embarrassing moments you replay at 2am has enough footage.
- Using your passport as a form of ID is socially unacceptable at age 20: To be fair, so is carrying your learners, but let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.
- STUDYLINK… *sigh*: Having to explain and justify your trauma just for your AT Hop fees to be paid is a traumatic event in itself, especially after being put on hold for 90 mins listening to the same five songs on loop. Have fun reapplying next year!!!
- Deleting Tik Tok was a wise decision: You still mindlessly scroll on your phone but at least the algorithm on Instagram Reels is so shit you eventually get bored enough to do work.
- So was cutting bangs: Sadly still don’t look like Zooey Deschanel, but being an AliExpress version ain’t so bad.
- Once you skip a class it is VERY VERY hard to stop: It only takes one “can’t be fucked” moment to snowball into missing a full semester!
- Invest in (and actually remember to bring) a good umbrella: Walking into class looking like a drowned rat off Flushed Away is not a good look. Neither is smelling like wet dog.
- Early quarter-life crises are going to become a fortnightly thing: Watching trash reality TV may help alleviate some symptoms.
- STOP CONVINCING YOURSELF THAT YOU’RE NOT A LIGHTWEIGHT: Drunkenly disabling your own phone for 45 minutes on a night-out is kinda dangerous… Let’s not do that again, please.
- Take advantage of office hours: It always pays off to kiss up to your prof for a cheeky grade bump or that one-on-one advice you’d never get otherwise because of budget slashes in Arts!
- Networking is a strange form of socialisation:But at least there are free fancy sandwiches you can munch on to fill the awkward silence!
- REMEMBER TO ACTUALLY CANCEL YOUR FREE TRIALS: That “free” Audible trial quickly turned into three monthly payments of $14.95 you’ll never get back…
- Mid-sem break? More like mid-sem scam: Throw all major plans out the window, you’re going to be spending the break desperately catching up on skipped lectures and readings.
- LinkedIn is actually a black hole for self-pity: The platform also feels creepily dystopian, but maybe I’m just being dramatic lol.
- You will NOT need to jump off a cliff if you speak to someone in a lecture: But no guarantees if they ghost you or move a seat away…
- Complaining is always a good convo starter:Man, why is it so hot in here? Why was this week’s reading so long? Could we get a more boring lecturer?
- Writing’s not that easy, but Grammarly can help: An actual godsend for people who never learned to touch-type properly. Reading the weekly insights email Grammarly sends is also a much-welcomed ego boost.
- There’s a huge difference between feeling like shit and feeling like a piece of shit: The latter is much worse. Glad you worked on this one 🙂
- The best bathrooms at Uni are in the Clocktower East Wing: Was tempted to gate keep this secret but I think the world has enough girlbosses.
- DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES ASK A COUPLE IF THEY ARE “SIBLINGS”: Perhaps the most important lesson of the year. I do not care that you thought they looked identical or had the “same smile,” the poor COUPLE did not deserve your unsolicited “cute siblings” compliment. This memory will (rightfully) haunt you for many nights to come.
